The First Successors
by ObsidianWing
Summary: Before Near, Matt, and Mello... before even Light... there were two others in L's life that made an impact on him. (Prequel to A new Family Member, rated M for... less than pleasant content)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: *Sighs heavily* So... my cousin is a huge fan of my series at the moment and begged me to post this prequel for her by tonight. I agreed, but there's a catch...**_

_**I will no longer be posting one Chapter a day. From now on, because I have school work to do and that ALWAYS comes first before fanfics, I will be posting a chapter once a week starting today. So, next Monday, you should be getting another chapter for this story. Maybe two if I wrote one earlier on in the week. (I can already hear her screaming at me in rage... delightful)**_

_**Well, I hope you enjoy, because this prequel has no Light, Matt, Mello, or Near whatsoever! It has a new cast awaiting you all!**_

_**Oh, and by the way, I know this beginning is short, but I'm making the chapters SUPER long for the rest of it because there's only going to be around 10-15 chapters all around. **_

_**So... Enjoy!**_

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><p><strong>(B P.O.V)<strong>

The moment Wammy walked me through the doors I was scared. But not because of the other kids… because of _him_.

He said his name was L… but he was lying. I could see his name floating above his head in little red letters. It was an odd name, but it suit him. I liked his name… I liked how beautiful it was… and I liked his smile. It was warm… comforting… and it drew me in. I immediately wanted to get to know him. To know more than his true name. I wanted to know L like no one else, and to be his best friend.

He introduced me to Adrian that day. A boy that went by 'A'. They called me Backup, or 'B' for short. I didn't mind this so much. As a nine year old, it wasn't a bad name. And, who knows, maybe they'll change it in the future!

I sat with L to speak with him after I settled into my room. He was a year or so older than I, but it didn't matter to me. I still found him fascinating.

"And how are you liking Wammys, B?" He asked me, his words filled with intelligence.

I smiled a toothy grin at him, watching his name bounce about upon his head. "I love it here. I can showcase my true talents and no one will despise me!"

He seemed saddened by this. "Yes. Wammy told me your mother abandoned you. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be!" I said excitedly. "I can't wait to begin! When will I get to work on a case with you!?"

He chuckled. "Slow down, B. I've only just started myself. I'm still kind of new to this as well. But Wammy insists I get a successor for the future, and you and A look like promising students. We'll have to wait and see."

"I won't let you down! You can count on it!"

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><p><strong>(A P.O.V)<strong>

I heard L chuckle at this and I to smiled. B was so passionate! And the way he spoke… so lively and excited! It was definitely a switch up from the pace around here. Usually all the kids here were morbid when they arrived. But B? No… he was amazing! I only wish I could know more about him.

I slipped my ear off the door and padded my way over to my own room. In the successor program, all the gifted children got rooms on the same floor as L. When I'd first met the detective, I couldn't believe how young he was! Ten! And he was solving cases! And here I was at eight-and-a-half looking to be his successor! Maybe B would surpass me, but that was fine with me. Perhaps we could even be partners!

I admitted to myself that B was quite cute, what with his large shiny eyes and his childish nature, but my papa made it quite clear before he died that I wasn't allowed to like other boys. I'd asked him why and he said it was wrong. But, what was wrong with liking a boy? I mean… if you can like a girl, can't you like a boy?

My mama thought it was adorable that I liked boys. But… what would B think? Did he care? Was he a homophobe? Should I worry!?

I brushed my dark hair down a bit with my hand nervously. I wasn't an outgoing child, but I hoped B didn't mind. I'd wanted to impress him, an older boy who was so much more out there than I. I wanted him to like me, even if it was just friendly.

I suddenly heard the door open and saw B himself walk in.

He turned to me after crawling into his bed across the room. "You're A, right? I'm B!"

I smiled shyly at him. "Hi."

He didn't seem taken aback by this. "Do you want to go to the playroom?! L told me there's TONS of toys and games there!"

I nodded. "Sure."

He quickly took my hand and hurried me out the door. Some of the kids looked our way but I hadn't cared. This was a good day for me. The day I made a good friend, one that I would always cherish.

A and B! Best of friends!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Not a super long chapter like I'd hoped, but I could barely squeeze in any time to write this week. Hope you enjoy it either way though.  
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_**Thank you all for being patient this week, and I hope you all enjoy! (Also, I might write an extra chapter for late tonight or tomorrow)**_

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><p><strong>(A P.O.V)<strong>

"Are you done yet? L's going to be home soon and I want to be the first to greet him!" B complained.

I sighed heavily, turning to him and giving a slight glare. "I told you before, I need to finish this assignment before Tuesday. Not only that, but I have an art project, an oral report, and an essay on world geography. I can't afford to slip up!"

He groaned audibly, rolling over onto his back whilst lying on the floor. He had been lying on the bed beforehand but moved to the floor when he noticed I wasn't budging from my studying spot. As much as I adored this boy, he was a pain in the arse most times. But he made up for it by being adorable in his own ways.

He looked up at me with a piercing stare. "Need I remind you that you're top of the class in every subject? Not to mention L's favoured you since the day you arrived here."

"How would you know? You arrived after me!" I reminded, still managing to keep up my writing while speaking to the dark haired teen.

B scoffed. "Like I don't notice. You and L have been buddies since the beginning. Plus the way he treats you is different from everyone else. Always praising you, sharing his candy, and giving you hugs. It's like you're his brother or something."

I sighed yet again. "Indeed."

L was our leader of sorts, yes, but he was also my brother figure. I'd known him since the day I arrived at Wammy's when I was seven. This was around the time L was beginning to grow in recognition around the world, but before the successor program even began. When it had started up, L suggested me right away to be his successor, and I was immediately thrown into the program and have kept my status as number one ever since. L was proud of me, of course, but since he was busy all the time he never really noticed all of my work. It was a little depressing, but I knew I couldn't let it get me down. L was counting on me… Wammy was counting on me… in fact, it felt like everyone was counting on me. The longer L lived – the more his fame grew – the more pressure was put on me to be better than the rest.

But I wouldn't give up. I wasn't a quitter and I wouldn't start on about being one now. I just had to be the best that I could be and give it two-hundred percent! L believed in me, and so did B! So I was more than prepared to handle it all.

But, the thing about B was that he was almost an exact replica of L. Maybe even smarter. He never had to try in class, he just… did. People were amazed to see him solve all these complex equations on the board without any trouble. He never hesitated, never took a break, and he never faltered. He was _always_ right! But, with me, I had to give everything I had and more to solve the problems put before me. I knew it didn't look good that L's first was only so because his second was lazy, so I never commented on B's laziness for fear he might try harder and surpass me. I didn't want that, not one bit! I wanted to be number one…

I had to be.

Although I never spoke about it, my parents were always on my case about being better than what I was. My father was a business man from Detroit who was incredibly successful. My mother was a Lawyer from New York who was known to have never lost a case. Together they gave life to two sons. My older brother Harrison, or Harry as I called him, and me. Of course, Harry was always successful with everything he'd done. He was a track and field star, valedictorian in his high school graduation, top of his class…

But then there was me.

My brother was ten years older than me. It was no surprise to me that I was the mistake of the family. My parents only ever wanted one son, but my mother seemed to love me… from what little I remember of her. My father, however, made it no secret that I was nothing more than a nuisance to him since the day I was conceived. It hurt to think my own father didn't want me, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now. Not with my family being gone.

I don't remember much from that day, but I know there was a killer involved. I knew someone broke into my home while I was sleeping and killed everyone. Everyone… but me. I sometimes wondered why I'd been spared instead of them. Why the killer took the lives of success away instead of my own. Then again… what power did my life hold anyway? I'm only important at the moment because of L, but even then that was a stretch. Unless he died in the next year, I doubt I wouldn't be considered as his successor for long. Not with B being just as perfect as the detective himself.

I finally dropped my pen and took a breather. I knew I shouldn't be staying up for nights on end, but I was determined to be the best.

I brushed back my unclean, dark hair with my hand. "Well, let's go see L. I need to talk to him about a project I'm working on for science anyway."

B smiled happily before jumping up from the floor and grabbing my hand. "Let's go then!"

He pulled me out of my chair and out the door. Honestly I will never understand his psyche, but it was admirable sometimes.

The halls of the Wammy house were lined with pictures of past kids who had gone on in their lives. Apparently, Quillish Wammy had started this orphanage for his beloved Margret who'd passed away nearly ten years ago. The two were unable to have children together, but Wammy made up for it to her by starting the orphanage known as The Wammy House. Quillish Wammy was already a man of means and could afford this place no problem, but the moment L arrived… things changed.

Although I was after L, I was told by the senior members that Wammy favoured L over anybody else due to his high intellect and ability to raise Wammy's assets to nearly double his yearly income! This was one of the many reasons the old man decided to start up the successor program. He wanted the world to recognize genius through L, and he'd done it. Sometimes, though, I wished it went back to being an orphanage. Where there was no fear of tests or exams that decided our fate. In fact, before this whole successor thing came into the picture, I wanted to be a writer! If not, an illustrator! I loved the fine arts and just losing myself in my writings and my drawings. But… it was a thing of the past now.

No more art… just detective work.

Backup dragged me through the halls of the Wammy house all the way to the rec room where L was already there, dropping off his bags while speaking to Wammy – Watari – about the case they'd just finished.

I blushed a bit when I saw L in front of me. I was fourteen now and hormones were raging. L wasn't helping me either with this problem. As much as I liked B… L was a close second. Maybe it was because he was older, or I was just insane, but there was a certain attraction to him I couldn't ignore. Of course, L had no interest in me… but I could still dream.

Love and sex weren't really covered around Wammys. It was all about the work, and rarely did we act upon urges. There were a few normal kids in the orphanage – or rather, teenagers – that needed to be leashed and caged, but the one's in the successor program were strictly prohibited from any sort of sexual activities. I doubted we were even allowed to date or kiss. Roger – Wammy's second man in charge – wanted us not to have distractions.

But, with men like L, how could I not be distracted?

The detective before us finally took notice of our presence and pulled us in for a hug. A small smile adorning his ivory face. I honestly couldn't care less about any of the other small details about him that people found… odd. I thought he was perfect the way he was.

Alright… maybe I liked him as much as B… maybe a bit more.

But B was my best friend, and I wasn't sure about his sexual preference. L, however, was known to swing both ways. I'd hated the males he dated, and downright despised the females. But, since he was single now, my chances increased exponentially. But would a sixteen-year-old like him give me a chance? Just the slightest chance?!

Before he let us go, I savoured the warmth of his hug, hoping to remember this feeling of being loved all day.

"So how is Wammys brightest doing?" He asked happily.

B answered for us. "You tell us, 'L'."

I hadn't liked the way he'd said that. Like he implied 'L' was not his true name. In truth, no one knew if this was his true name, but he'd gone by this since we were kids, so I would believe it was true.

He only chuckled slightly. "You know what I mean, B. I need to make sure you two are alright." He then looked at me specifically. "And that you're not overworking yourselves."

I sighed to myself. "I can handle it, L. Besides, I'm better off if I have something to do with my time, rather than loping around like nothing matters. You can trust me, everything is fine."

He wasn't convinced. "A, you're only fourteen. And I know you've been working past midnight to finish assignments. Maybe if you spoke to the teachers about getting an extension or two…"

"I don't need it." I interrupted, grabbing his hand in reassurance. "Believe me, I'm fine. I can handle anything being thrown at me. You don't need to worry so much."

A few seconds rolled by before he gave in. "Alright. But if you need to take a break, just say so. I can make sure the teachers give you some time off and your grades will remain untouched."

That's a lie. The teachers here didn't care about our grades. They only cared that Wammy pay them the amount specified – which was a lot – and then spend it on whatever they pleased. Sometimes I thought L was a bit too naïve.

I nodded happily though. "Of course L. I'd never keep any secrets from you."

But, in actuality, I was keeping more from him than I let on. Like the 'study drugs' I was taking to keep up with everyone. They were a brain stimulant that kept me focused for hours on end without even trying. Normally they were used for kids who had Attention Deficit Disorder, which was not me, but I was so desperate to keep up in my studies that I looked into buying some drugs to keep me up and focused. This led to me finding a kid around Wammy's that was selling them out of sight from the teachers. With L's weekly allowance to us, I was more than able to afford the pills and took them on a regular basis. They kept me up until six a.m. and made my blood pressure rise… but at least my grades were perfect.

That was all that mattered.

Having high grades… and L's praise. If I had these, I was more than okay with health risks that came from the drugs.

L then joined us in walking to his room to enjoy some cake, and I was more than happy to be part of his life for this moment. Tomorrow I'd go back to being L's successor. But right now, I was his friend. Hopefully, in time, something much more.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: *Sigh* Okay, so my chapters won't be super long like I'd specified - considering my writing time is little to none - but that means more chapters than I originally specified! So... YAY!  
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_**Hope you guys enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for sticking around. You are all lovely people!**_

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><p><strong>(B P.O.V)<strong>

A was an alright kid, but he worked too hard. Honestly he stressed me out just by looking at him. And it didn't help that he was taking those pills. He didn't know that I knew about them, but how could I not know? The kid was tweaked almost every night thanks to those pills and it was a strain just thinking about how much his body was suffering. However, there wasn't much I could do about it. A was determined to be the best… even if it meant losing his mind.

I cared for A. Of course I did, he was my best friend. I'd known him since we were kids, and we'd done everything together since my first day at the Wammy house. But watching his life count down in front of me… it was so… breathtaking.

A would die in one week from today… and I was excited to see how it would play out. Would a bus hit him? Would he be poisoned? What if a murderer stabbed him!?

I kept my emotions about this to myself. In this society, enjoying death was considered wrong. But what could I help? It was incredible watching people die in front of me! I even volunteered at the old folks home to watch all of the little granny and grandpa's die. What was wrong about celebrating death?! Death was the desert in the meal of life! We would all see it someday… and it would be spectacular!

I never really knew where my special gift came from. My mother had deserted me for it when I kept telling her the numbers above her head were counting down. I hadn't known why this was possible until I saw my first person die. He had been a teacher at Wammys who had gone by the name Mr. Claude. His real name, which I'd told him, was actually Ethan Blanc. He'd gotten scared of me and demanded that I'd leave his class for good. Two days later, he was in a car crash. It was then that I remembered the numbers above his head had specified two days… and counting down. I was so incredibly blown away by this that I laughed uncontrollably. Of course it was by myself at the time so no one heard me laughing, but if they had… I probably would have been put into a mental hospital.

From that day on I looked to people who would die as soon as possible. This involved elder people, and sick people. I chose the ones that would die as soon as possible, and sure enough… I predicted their fates.

People in the hospitals and nursing homes all felt sorry for me since I befriended the ones that died as soon as I'd grown accustomed to them, and like a pro I pretended to be saddened by their departure. But inside… I was living the dream.

I came back to Wammys, having just lost another 'friend' at the hospital. I sometimes thought I needed to see people die daily just to feel alright in my mind. However, I believe it just had to do with my superiority complex over L. The man was an alright detective… but with my power, I was unstoppable! If L had half a mind, he would have already made me his successor. But this was not the case. No, L had preferred A since the beginning. I was starting to think the guy had a crush on the little druggie. But, there wasn't anything I could prove…

…yet…

I walked into the orphanage and saw the two sitting on the couch together reading over a case file. This made me upset.

"And why did you no invite me?" I asked irritably.

A looked up at me. "Oh, sorry B. But you were out and L only just asked for my opinion on this case. You could still join us."

I smiled wickedly at him, not even caring too much about the file. "You know, you two are adorable together."

I could see A blush profusely. "B! What on earth…?"

"Take a teasing, A. We both know you have little chance with L anyway. He always chooses the idiots to make himself feel more superior to them."

L only sighed. "You're home early, B. Was there another death?"

I only nodded half-heartedly. "Yes, but I'm not too saddened by it. I get used to it after a while."

L hummed. "I'm sorry you have to go through all that. It must be difficult on you."

_'Not as much as you think.'_ I thought to myself.

I looked over at A again and tried not to giggle. His lifespan had gone down by another day. Soon he'd be dead… And I'd be there to see it. I just know I would.

Part of me didn't want him to die, this was true. But another part of me was desperate for him to just get it over with! I had a feeling in my so called soul that this death would impact me more than any other. I just needed to see it happen! But I guess I'll have to wait a few more days. Oh well… the wait would be worth it.

I sat down next to L who opened the file more for me to see. There was a picture of the murderer in front of me and I watched his name pop up above the picture's head. Andrew Barring, serial killer and arsonist, scheduled to die in…

Three seconds.

I giggled to myself and L caught this. "What's so funny?"

I looked back at him, caressing my sight over his real name as if it were a precious vase. "Oh… it's nothing."

I admit, there were times where I had mixed feelings for L. He was a fool, yes, but he had a mind to match my own. If I could I'd watch his name forever… and be there the day he died. Sadly, he had a long life ahead of him and I knew I wouldn't be around to see it all.

Wammys was not a place for relationships, as well. So my relationship with L was strictly professional. However, knowing A had a giant crush on him only made me want him more. At the same time though, I couldn't be bothered with his foolishness. L was a child who thought in childish ways. Yes, I was childish as well, but I doubt an actual child could comprehend the meaning of death and all its glory. L did not like death or murder, and looked to rid the world of his through his childish notion of 'justice'. He has to realize that the world has no justice though. There is no right or wrong when it comes to humans. We say killing is wrong, but when it comes to our loved ones or something we cherish, we kill to keep it alive! Humans say hurting people is wrong, that death is wrong, that vengeance and hate is wrong! But in reality, we are all sins in ourselves. I am no exception… neither is A… and neither is L.

I waited for the cell phone to ring, and in no time flat…

The beeping sounded and L answered it right away. Within moments it was confirmed. The serial killer and arsonist, Andrew Barring… was dead.

My power never failed.

I stood up from my seat after L hung up. "Well, I must get going. I have homework to attend to and I must start on it immediately."

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><p><strong>(L P.O.V)<strong>

I hadn't bothered to stop B from walking away. In retrospect I think I needed a break from him. He'd been acting weird for over a week now and he wasn't saying why. There was something in his eyes that… haunted me. Even to this very day I remembered them so painfully. Like two orbs filled with the knowledge of god himself, and it was as if he were using it to power himself in some form or another. It was sickening. The boy was only fifteen… yet he was so mature. So unreal and cold. It made my hair stand up on end.

I had felt A get up as well. "I need to leave as well. I have a project due tomorrow."

I sighed heavily at this. "A, I've already told you, your collage is fine. It will get you more than one hundred percent, believe me."

He smiled shyly at me and I could see the slight pink on his cheeks even as he looked away. "Still…"

I grinned slightly. I knew full well about A's crush on me. I never said anything though because I didn't want to hurt the lad. He was a fine young man, but he was so focussed on being the best that he was losing himself. There was a time I considered him, but when the successor program started up he became someone completely different. It was like he wasn't A anymore. He was just a shell. A shell of nothing but study and work. And I had missed the times we'd spent together when we were children. When there was less work than before for the both of us.

I took his hand in mine. "A, please take a rest. I'm worried about your health, you can't keep going on like this."

He pulled his hand away. "I'm fine, L. You don't need to worry…"

I growled under my breath but I didn't push it further. A was stubborn, and it had only made things worse for him.

"L?" I faintly heard a voice call for me. This voice was… familiar.

"L…? L!"

I jolted out of my reverie and looked behind me to find my familiar brunette leaning against the door frame.

"Oh… Light." I said quietly, realizing I was in my room now. "Is there something wrong?"

The brunette slowly walked towards me. "No. It's just that you've been staring at a blank screen for over ten minutes. I was beginning to believe something was wrong with you."

Had I really zoned out? That wasn't like me. I was always focused on the task at hand. Maybe it was because…

I cleared my throat a bit. "What's the date today, Light-kun?"

He thought for a quick second. "May eighteenth. Why?"

So it was close then. The anniversary… that's why I was so unfocussed.

I stood from my seat, my legs a bit numb from sitting for so long in my – what some would call – irregular position. "Are the boys in bed?"

He nodded. "I doubt they're asleep, though. You know how tough it is to get ten year olds to sleep."

"Only one of them is ten, Light." I reminded, grinning.

"Yeah, the crazy blonde with the alarming addiction to chocolate. Then you have the nine year old, red head, who's becoming an insomniac thanks to his gaming addiction, and the six year old albino who you gave matches to."

"He said he wanted to build a tower from them." I defended. "And, for your information, he needs the strike strip to light them and he doesn't have it."

Light crossed his arms. "You don't think a genius can light a match without it?" He asked rhetorically.

I couldn't defend myself with that. "Good point, but I doubt Near is an arsonist. Let's keep this in mind."

Light famously rolled his eyes at me. "Why do you need to know if they're awake?"

I began to chew on my thumb a bit when I answered him. "Because I think it's time I told them about A and B."

"Who?" The brunette asked, genuinely curious.

I looked him straight in the eye when I answered. "My first successors."


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Wow, has my week been busy! Seriously though, I haven't forgotten about you guys, I just don't have a lot of time on my hands to write for you. But I promise if I don't have a chapter during the week, then there shall always be a new chapter for every monday. Two if I can manage!  
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_**I'm going away to Minneapolis on Wednesday thoug****h, and will be staying a few days. I will be bringing my laptop and I should have a chapter done for you guys by Friday!**_

_**As always I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for being patient!**_

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><p><strong>(A P.O.V)<strong>

I smiled brightly while working next to L. He was busy with a case at the moment but didn't mind my being beside him. I'd steal glances at him every so often only to see him further progress with his work. I envied his initiative and wanted more than to prove my value to the detective. The only thing was… it was getting more and more difficult keeping up with him. The pills were keeping me awake now, and more than focused on the task at hand, but I still wasn't good enough. My last assignment barely got a hundred percent! If I didn't step it up and get more than one hundred, I was going to fail without question.

I forced my eyes back onto my textbook after realizing I was staring off into space again. I read the paragraph before me and copied it down feverishly.

And then again…

And again…

And once more for good measure.

I went on to the next paragraph and did the same thing. This was my routine, and it was now a religious practice to me. If I copied everything, I couldn't forget. If I didn't forget, I didn't fail. If I didn't fail, L would notice me. And if L noticed me… I was happy.

I suddenly heard the door knock but I didn't look up from my papers. It wasn't until I heard him speak did I realize it was Wammy – or Watari as he went by while working with L.

"L, there are some pressing matters I must attend to so I won't be able to serve you for today."

"Oh? Is there something wrong?" The detective asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Yes, to put it bluntly. I have gotten word from the other teachers here that there is a child inside the orphanage selling drugs to the children in the successor program."

"What!?" L exclaimed, more upset than I'd seen in a long time. "You can't be serious! Who on earth would be selling drugs in this school?!"

I shrunk in a bit and thankfully they didn't notice. I knew who the culprit was, being that I was his favourite customer, but I couldn't turn him in. I needed those pills to keep me focused! If I didn't have them… I wouldn't be picked as L's successor. If I wasn't picked…

What would I do?

Wammy sighed. "I have no idea. The kids are keeping this all quiet. Obviously some have become addicted to the drugs. I shudder to think that this is the reality of it, but I'm afraid that it just might be the case."

He suddenly turned to me and I got a fearsome chill up my spine. Did he know?

"A, is there anything you know about this? Being our top student, you must have been offered these drugs at some point."

I slowly looked up at his face. L was also looking at me. I felt like a criminal being interrogated for something I didn't know was wrong or incorrect. Well… that's not true. I knew drugs were the wrong way to go, but dammit if they didn't help me study!

I shook my head. "No sir. I know nothing about these drugs. I've never been offered them."

I felt cheap when I'd lied to them. What a god awful thing to do for your heroes. Lie right in their faces and allow them to believe you're innocent. But… in the long run… I knew I'd get what I desired.

L hummed a bit. "Are you sure, A? What about Backup? Do you know if he's using any narcotics? Maybe to help him study?"

I shook my head once more. "I know nothing about these drugs. Not a thing. But, what makes you believe that these drugs are for studying?"

The detective paused for a moment before answering. "Because no one is stupid enough in this school to go ahead with selling illegal drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine in Wammy's. No, if they were going to be selling drugs, they'd be selling them to the desperate students in the successor program, and they'd be dangerous pills meant for 'studying'."

I decided to get daring now. "But, if they're used for studying, are they really that bad?"

L gave me the most incredulous look then. Like he didn't believe who he was looking at anymore. "A, how can you be so stupid to believe that! Drugs to minors is the most dangerous thing you can imagine! If you get too dependent on them you become a slave to them! Your mind will get warped into believing that you can't live without them. If this isn't stopped, then a fair share of kids will get hurt, or worse! We may even lose a few to insanity! We cannot let this continue!"

I cringed inward even more now. L had never once yelled at me. Even more… he actually called me stupid. Maybe it was a mistake… he didn't mean it! I wasn't stupid!

Or… am I. I mean… I'm taking those drugs right now aren't I?! What if he finds out? What if he takes me out of the program! What if he never speaks to me again! What if… WHAT IF…

I started shaking now and I felt my throat close up and I gasped for air. How was this happening?! I'M CHOKING!

I fell out of my seat and began begging for air, holding my throat! Not long after that my chest started hurting and I was confused as to what was going on! All I could see was L and Wammy standing over me in hysterics! But I could only make out a few warped words through my hazy state.

"Wammy… wrong… … A!... … SOMEONE!"

"Call… … Get the… …Right…"

I blacked out… thinking that this was the end of me. I couldn't breathe worth the life of me and I could almost see the other side.

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. I had hoped this wasn't true, but I relived my hell anyways. There was my mother… my father… and my brother… but I remembered the Wammy house more than anything. I remembered playing with L when we were done our classes. We'd go outside and watch the clouds, making a game out of finding pictures in the clouds. I remembered and old barn a few kilometers away from the orphanage that we'd made our clubhouse. Backup joined us as well when he first arrived. And from this barn we became the best of friends. Promising to always be there for each other.

Then… L became more famous. Then B distanced himself from us. And I was alone…

So painfully alone.

I hated being alone. I hated the cold feeling of being shunned. Like no one cared for me… like I was a nuisance. When I was with L I wasn't a nuisance… or at least I used to be like that. L used to always want to hang out with me, but now he was so busy he didn't even care. I knew he didn't… and why should he? I was just a useless kid to him. A replica made to be next in line… the next L. Hell, even my codename taunted me. 'A', the one grade I suffered for. And even then… I didn't deserve it.

I suddenly felt my arm give a twitch and I opened my eyes hesitantly. I was in a cold white room, and I could hear beeping beside me. A hospital? What was I doing here? Maybe this was a joke. Did they play pranks in heaven? Well… maybe hell…

Who am I kidding… I was already in hell to begin with anyway. How could this be any worse?

I looked to my left and saw two hazy blobs lying in their respective chairs. When my vision focused a bit more I saw L and B sitting side by side, awaiting changes in my health I suppose.

I couldn't move too much, but I tried to speak. All that came out was a moan, but L heard it right away and rushed to my side.

"A! You're alright!" He said happily. "Dear lord I was scared out of my mind for you!"

I finally found the strength to lift my hand a bit and L took it gently. I was happy to see him there, but the feeling in my heart was more than painful. He was looking at me with those same eyes he did when we met. Like he want to be by my side again. And it scared me because it wouldn't last. He'd go back to being L as soon as this mess was all straightened out.

B got the doctor in here right away and he started checking my vitals. I hadn't known how long I was out for, but I prayed it wasn't for long. I didn't want to take up anyone's time… especially my own.

The doctor finished checking me over and got down to telling me what had happened.

"A, is it?" He looked to L – under an alias I would believe – and he nodded. "You've been under for about a week now and have suffered from a stress induced heart attack. We're going to keep you in ICU for a few days to keep you from any stresses at home."

I tried to protest but my throat hurt too much from my convulsions earlier on. I suppose my fate was sealed.

After a few more notes the doctor left to see another patient while the nurse brought me my medication.

I flopped back down in my bed and tried not to cry. I knew I was going to fall behind in my studies, I just knew it! My teachers would all pile up my homework and I'd be behind for weeks!

I felt a hand brush through my hair and I looked up to see L grinning at me. "It's alright, A. You won't be behind in any classes. You are excused from class with no worries about your grades. They will remain the same when you return, and you will have no makeup work to do. I want you to have as little stress as possible. I promise, your grades will be fine."

I forced a smile passed my lips but it wasn't genuine. L could promise me the earth and moon but that didn't mean it would happen.

I decided to look away from the detective and look at B instead. But, there was something in his eyes I hadn't seen before. Confliction? Was that the word? He looked confused as to what he should be doing… but I couldn't guess what was going on in his mind.

I guess none of us could.

* * *

><p><strong>(B P.O.V)<strong>

I'd felt my heart shatter when Wammy told me A was having a heart attack. I'd thought his death would be interesting, but instead it made my stomach cringe and flip uncontrollably. For the first time in my life… I didn't know what to think.

A was… IS… my best friend. Without him, I had nothing anymore. He kept me sane in the Wammy house, when all the kids were losing their minds and he was right there to help me through everything. When I saw death all around me, his smiling face was the only thing to keep me from killing myself. Because, although death was a beautiful thing to me… it also frightened me. Although I was gifted with this power to predict one's death, I was human. I would die as well someday. But I couldn't see my lifespan above my head. I had no idea when I would die… but I could see my name. The name my mother gave me. But my name was faint… like it wasn't even supposed to be there. Unlike Adrian and L, whose names were prominent, mine was fading. What on earth could that mean?

I looked to A who smiled warmly at me. His lifespan had been lengthened somehow. The doctor had said that he had been dead for close to ten seconds before they revived him. The only thing was… his lifespan had only lengthened a few short weeks.

I had to make those days last, or at least lengthen his lifespan if I could! Because… for all the death that I loved… I loved A so much more than that. And I wouldn't see the one person I love in this world die.

Not so long as I had the vision of a god.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Short and sucky chapter today. Sorry for being late, I've had a really busy week. Catching up with homework, drawings, talking to the bank, yadda yadda...**_

_**But thank you all for sticking with me!**_

_**As always I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for being patient!**_

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><p><strong>(L P.O.V)<strong>

I sometimes felt sorry for Light, having to care for the younger boys. Mello was a handful all by himself, but adding Matt and Near into the picture… it just wasn't fair! However, Light loved his boys and had no intention of giving them up. It was rather astonishing, to say the least, to see Light becoming so motherly to them. I'd never thought he'd take to them so easily. Then again, to see my successors take to him just as easily… I was almost heartbroken by it. Lord knows I never spent much time with them. Sure, Matt and Mello knew mw longest, and Near was more than a good brother to me… but other than finding them and taking them in, I haven't done much with them.

The sad part is… I knew exactly why that was.

Light opened the door to reveal the three boys, still awake and full of energy – even though it was way past their bedtime – but stopped in their tracks when they saw the brunette enter the room. It was a rather worrisome sight when they stopped, what with Matt about to hit Mello with a stick – wherever that came from – Mello about to strike back with a toy sword, and Near defending himself with a pillow… it didn't look good.

Matt and Mello dropped their weapons the moment Light cocked an eyebrow at them. I almost smiled at this.

Light hated it when I called him their mommy, but it was his fault for mommy-ing them! Honestly, if he wasn't cuddling Near after a bad dream, he was holding Mello because of his thunderstorm fear. And if it wasn't holding Mello, it was cleaning up Matt when he wouldn't use his napkin. Near had pills to take, which Light monitored daily, Mello had anger issues that were usually soothed by a hug from mommy Light, and Matt was slipping in class so Light, once again, had to come to the rescue and tutor the boy! I was amazed by the brunette's energy, and was more than astounded when he still had enough energy to pay attention to me! Clearly, bringing Light to the Wammy house was worth it. If anything, our lives bettered with him here.

_'And to think,'_ I thought to myself, _'had I chosen A…'_

I shook the thought from my mind. I couldn't be thinking about the past like this. Yes, I missed my first successors… but they were long gone.

I felt my being sink at this. I loved A and B more than anyone. They were my family, and my closest friends. Why didn't I feel the same about Near, Matt, and Mello? Mello was much more interesting than A or B was, and was never one for a dull moment. Matt was always happy and – however lame they were – his jokes managed to put a smile on my face more times than not. And Near was as close to being myself more than A or B ever were! So… why was I being so distant from them?

Mello jumped off his bed and ran to Light, hugging him tightly. "Thank god you're here, Light! Matt was about to kill me!"

"Was not!" The red head defended.

"Was Too!" The blonde shot back.

Light sighed. "You're both grounded for being up past curfew. And I'm taking your weapons away."

"What!" They both said in unison.

The little albino hiding in the corner, lowering his pillow shield, sighed happily. He then got up from the floor and ran to hug Light in thanks.

The brunette ended up carrying the small little snowball before asking, "What happened?"

The stories they gave were fast and covered over each other. All we heard were two little boys blaming each other for something we knew not of.

Light finally stopped them, having now a quiet room to think in, then turned to Near.

"What happened, Near?"

The little fluff-ball shrunk into the brunette's arms. "I called Mello a girl." He said quietly.

Light groaned, his body going into an 'I give up' stance. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean to!" He defended. "I just said he looked rather feminine for a boy."

"So I grabbed the toy sword and went to hit him to teach him a lesson!" The blonde started up. "Then Matt grabbed a stick from the tree outside our window…"

"And that's when a swordfight started." Matt admitted.

The brunette groaned again. "Mello, you're grounded for two weeks. One week for staying up past bedtime, and another for trying to hurt Near!"

"I wasn't going to hurt him…" the blonde defended, crossing his arms and turning from the young man. "I was going to scare him a little. _Matt_ on the other hand…"

"Bring it, blondie!" The red head demanded.

I finally decided to step in. "Both of you are grounded for two weeks. Both for staying up late, Mello for _threatening_ Near, and Matt for destruction of the orphanage property."

The gamer paused for a moment. "A tree?"

I crossed my arms then. "Wammy paid for that tree, it's on his property, and you have to respect this property as if it were your own."

Another pause. "Okay, you're right. Sorry."

Both Light and myself sighed heavily. Once we had the boys put back into bed, Light explained why we were here.

"Boys, can you tell me what you know about L's previous successors?"

They all looked at each other before Matt shrugged. "No clue. I didn't even know L _had_ successors before us."

"I did." Mello spoke up. "But the most I know of is their names. A and B were the first one's in the successor program and were, supposedly, the ones that got it suspended for a few years. The successor program restarted after my first month here at Wammy's, but something happened to A and B that made it more exclusive and highly sought after in the orphanage. L told me about A and B, but the rest I got from the older kids who have been here longer. None of them will tell me what happened though." The blonde then looked up at me. "Most of them said you demanded never to speak about it, or risk being expelled. Is that true?"

Even Light was curious about this. He seemed rather shocked at my hostility towards the matter.

However, I couldn't hide from it. "Yes, I demanded the matter never be spoken of again. However, with you three being my successors now, I think it's best you know the truth about my first successors. The ones before you."

Mello perked up at this. "What happened to them? Did it have to do with the program?"

Near hummed a bit. "I don't like this. If you kept it secret from us, and demanded it be silenced… it can't be good."

I felt my heart ache a bit. "I demanded the issue be silenced due to my own feelings on the matter. Keep in mind, boys, that A and B were the first ones in the program…" I took a quick pause. "And my closest friends."

The three were silent now. I didn't mean to hurt them by making them think I loved A and B more… but I guess it sort of sounded like that.

I sat down on the floor, Light right beside me, and began from what I remembered.

"A few months after Wammy took me in, A was found and brought to the orphanage. After about six months, the successor program began and I offered the opportunity to A to become my successor. However… I hadn't known how much of a toll this would be on the poor boy. And wouldn't know until it was far too late…"


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Two more chapters to go. Sorry, but I did warn you guys that this would be a short story. I'll think about other stories in the meantime, but I hope this will suffice. And hey, good news, since I'm in Canada we have Thanksgiving in October and so I have Monday off! Potential chapter day!  
><strong>_

_**Anyways, hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for being patient! You are all wonderful readers!**_

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><p><strong>(A P.O.V)<strong>

My face was covered in tears and I couldn't stop them from flowing out of my eyes. It hadn't hurt as initially thought, being that the blade was well sharpened… but watching the blood flow from my arm made my heart break into millions of pieces. I'd finally hit my breaking point.

I ran out of pills, and I was no longer able to get more. L had found the kid selling the drugs and he was sent to prison almost immediately. I was going through withdrawal symptoms and my stomach was killing me with pain. All I thought about was having the pills back in my possession and becoming the best at Wammys. Even while I was in the hospital my stress levels hadn't changed. I was basically waiting for a heart attack to happen at any moment now. In truth… it might have been better than the hell I was currently going through.

I looked at the two red lines on my arm and grinned to myself as I placed the blade under them.

"One for B…" I repeated to myself, gearing up for the slice.

"One for L…"

I quickly made the slit and tried not to scream. This one hurt the most.

"And one for me…" I giggled to myself, clenching my teeth. It had hurt, but I was so relieved that I'd done this.

I'd finally cracked under the pressure. All because of L… because of what he'd told me.

I'd just come home from the hospital, two weeks of 'recovery' under my belt. L had told me to take it slower now and I 'promised' him that I would. I was on some pretty heavy duty drugs at the time to help me cope with some of the pain in my chest, and it had made me a bit loopy. But I remember everything I'd said to him…

…and everything he'd told me…

I'd giggled at him, my mind still effected by the drugs. _"You are so handsome, L! You know that!?"_

He'd merely grinned at me. _"A, you need rest."_

He'd sat me down on my bed at this point but I jumped up and grabbed his waist in a sort of hug. I was really giggly at this point and thought, stupidly, that now was the best time to tell him the truth.

_"But L!" _ I'd whined. _"I want you here beside me!"_

_"A, please control yourself…"_

_"Come on! We'd be great together! A and L! Wammy's best and brightest! We'd be a perfect couple!"_

He got defensive by this now. _"Absolutely not, A. Would you please listen to yourself! This isn't who you are, and I won't have you acting like this!"_

_"But…"_ I'd said sadly, _"don't you like me?"_

He unhinged me from his waist then looked me in the eye. _"A, you are a bright, handsome, and extraordinary young man. But… I don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry."_

My heart had shattered that day. And, even worse, the memory was still fresh in my mind. So I took my bottle of pills that I used for studying and downed the entire bottle. I surprisingly didn't die, but something had happened to me. It was like my mind… imploded! Like I was too focussed. I was scared, but laughy and happy. I tried again to get L's attention and love from this, thinking the pills had made me as smart as him now… but he was horrified by me. He was so scared he called Wammy and Roger and demanded I be locked into my room until the people from the hospital could come and pick me up.

A mental ward… he was going to put me in a mental ward… I knew that was his plan. So I busted the window to my room and ran for the barn we once called out clubhouse. It was decaying now, but it was a great hiding spot. I'd been here for two days now, but the pills hadn't stopped their effects. Maybe they were slowly killing me…

I hugged my arm close to my chest and I begged for the universe to send me B. If anything he'd be able to speak with L about all this… to make him see that I wasn't going insane.

"I'm not crazy…" I said to myself. "I'm not crazy… it's my drugs. If I tell L about it, he'll understand."

My eyesight was growing hazy right now. Perhaps it was due to blood loss. It was rather scary.

I knew I wasn't insane. My mind was clear and my thoughts were genuine. But the pills were making me see and think things that weren't true. If I had just told L about them…

I heard the barn door creak open and I smiled happily.

B had come! My prayer was answered!

"A! Are you here!? Answer me!"

I looked over the loft, being careful to hold on to the edge so I didn't fall. My eyesight was hazy and warped so I couldn't tell what was real or fake at the moment.

"Up here, B!" I answered, my voice a bit shaky.

He looked up and grinned. "Thank god you're alright! L has been looking for you!"

My heart quivered at this. "He has?"

I carefully made my way down the ladder and into B's arms where he hugged me tight.

"Are you alright?!" He asked worriedly.

This sort of put me off a bit. B was never worried about anything, not even me. What had happened to the kid that was so self-absorbed and full of himself? What happened to _that _B?! There was something fishy about all this.

After his hug he sat me down in the hay. "A, wait right here! We're going to get you fixed, I promise you! Just please stay here and wait for me to return with L!"

So that was it.

He ran out the barn door, making sure to shut it tightly, and I felt my heart race more. B had betrayed me.

He wasn't going to help me… he was going to get L so he could throw me into the looney bin and then B would be the next L! ALL MY WORK WOULD BE FOR NOTHING!

I had to do something… I had to be quicker than them. But… but what did I do?! I had to escape where they couldn't find me! I had to win this battle! I had to show L I was worthy… I had to be better than B! Dammit, why is everyone betraying me!?

I looked around the room frantically for a way out of my misery. I looked for anything that might stop my living nightmare… the pain, the symptoms, the heartache… EVERYTHING! There had to be SOMETHING!

I looked into the bag I'd taken with me to the barn, finding nothing but other blades as well as pencils and paper. I then looked around the room again and stopped at the roof.

I had my answer now… but…

…

…could I do it?

* * *

><p><strong>(B P.O.V)<strong>

I ran back to L as fast as I could possibly run. A wasn't doing good right now.

His hair had been matted and unclean, his eyes bloodshot and dilated. He was covered in his own blood and was burbling his words, shaking and twitching. This wasn't the A I knew. Those drugs he'd taken… they were messing with his mind!

I'd found the pill bottle and saw that it was empty. He'd had a month's supply in that bottle and if he'd truly downed them all…

Well… this wouldn't be good.

Of course I finally told L about A taking them, and he demanded that we'd find him so he could get help for him. Two days of searching and I'd finally gotten the intelligence to look in the barn. Low and behold, that was where A was hiding. L didn't know I'd checked the barn though, so I had to run back to find him. The only problem was… I had to leave A behind in order to do so.

I tried so hard these past few weeks to find out if there was some way could extend A's life, but no matter what I did his fate was sealed. If I had been able to find his pills before these two weeks were up, then maybe he'd have a fighting chance, but he'd hid them well and the only time I saw the bottle was when it was empty. So now it was purely up to how fast I was and how quickly I could get L to the barn before…

…before…

No… no, A would be fine… I had to believe that!

A was definitely not right in the head. He would see L as a threat if I took him to the detective. I risked losing him anyway if he'd truly been cutting himself on purpose. However, leaving him behind posed the same problem. If I didn't work fast… A would be gone…

Forever.

I burst through the orphanage door, finding L speaking with the police – most likely about A – and ran to grab his arm.

"I FOUND HIM!" I exclaimed.

"What! Where!?" The detective demanded.

"The barn!" I said in a hurry. "But we have to run! He's already cut into himself, and I don't know that he's going to stay still for very long!"

We ran out the door as fast as we could and towards the barn. L was a much faster runner than me, but the thought of losing A for the rest of my life… the thought of losing my friend… my one love… was enough to keep up the head of the race. We needed to get to A as soon as possible. We needed to get him help! I could lose my best friend!

I was scared… more scared than anything in my entire life. Why? Because I'd seen the numbers above his head. If we weren't there in less than one minute… A was a goner.

I didn't want to believe it… but they were right there above his head. I had ten minutes to tell L and save A. I prayed… I actually prayed to god… that we would get to him in time.

The barn came into sights now and my heart skipped a beat. _'Fifteen seconds!'_ I cried in my head.

I took the lead a bit more now and ran as fast as I could to the barn doors, fifteen seconds to spare! I tried to open them, but they'd gotten stuck! This wasn't good, not one bit!

L finally got to my side and tried to help pry the doors open, but it was no use. There was no possible way that these doors would open on their own!

"Stand back!" L demanded, getting into ready stance for a kick.

I took a step back. "HURRY!"

_'Five seconds!'_

A swift kick and the boards to the door broke immediately, making an entrance to crawl through.

I wasted no time in crawling to the barn, thinking I had the time to save him. I did have the time… I had five whole seconds! I knew I could make it to his side!

I got into the dark room…

…but I was too late…

The numbers counted down upon his forehead. Three… two… one… all while he hung there. I was in such a state of shock… I just couldn't believe it…

…he was gone…

…

…

No… no, he couldn't be gone!

By the time L made his way into the barn he'd saw me cut down A from the ceiling and begin CPR. I tried to restart his heart, gave him mouth to mouth… but nothing was working…

But I still tried…

…and I tried…

…and I tried…

…but he just laid there…

…covered in blood and dirt…

…his face at peace…

…no smile or twinkle in his eye…

…

…

…he was gone…

I finally gave up on my CPR and fell in hysterics. Crying and begging for god to bring him back to me. I was not a religious man, but I had to believe – even for a split second – that there was a god to turn to. A had believed… so why shouldn't I?

While I sobbed onto A's lifeless body, L found his suicide note.

But, while he read it to me… something changed in my being. It was cruel… animalistic…

…bloodthirsty…

_"To my two best friends," _L began. _ "I'm terribly sorry for not being the best I could be. I thought drugs would help me, but in the end they couldn't make me as strong as you two. I hope you can forgive my being weak and someday find it in your hearts to acknowledge me as an equal party to you. For now, I believe heaven has a better place for me to be. _

_"Love always…_

_"A, Formerly known as Adrian."_

The feeling in my stomach… it was intense… fiery… and filled with anger. Anger towards L. It was all his fault…

If L had never become famous… if he had never been who he was… IF HE HAD JUST BEEN NORMAL LIKE THE REST OF US, A COULD HAVE LIVED!

There suddenly came a banging on the door and I could tell it was Wammy and Roger or maybe even the law enforcement who were trying to break through.

I caught one of A's blades in the corner of my eye and grabbed it for myself, not losing focus on my target.

"L Lawliet." I growled out, immediately capturing the detective's attention.

He backed away when he saw the knife in my hand the moment I stood up. "What… what did you just…?"

I ignored him. "Because of you, A is gone."

I took a step towards him and he started getting more worried. "B… think about what you're doing…"

I grit my teeth. "You killed A with your selfishness! YOU KILLED HIM! All he ever wanted was for your approval!"

"A was sick, B!" He defended half-heartedly. "He needed help! I'm sorry I didn't act sooner, but this isn't…"

"SHUT UP!" I demanded, griping my blade. "YOU'LL PAY FOR HIS DEATH WITH YOUR OWN BLOOD!"

"B, calm down!" He tried to speak through to me, still backing away into a corner.

I threw my blade at him but I missed, hitting the wall to his left which stopped him from progressing further.

I flared my nostrils and grinned a bit at him. "L Lawliet. What an absolutely ridiculous name. Pathetic… weak… childish… just like its owner. When one of his students suffered, he just hid in his room like a coward. Allowing him to die… not even shedding a tear!"

"B, please calm down." He said steadily, but I could detect the hint of fear in his voice. "I know losing A has hurt you… and I'm sorry for not acting on this sooner. But, there's nothing we can do about it now. All we can do is say our goodbyes."

My hand curled into a fist.

"Then let's start by saying goodbye… to you."

I went in for the kill, feeling my blood boil and my mind go numb. It was like all of my humanity was slurped from my body and carried off to a place far away. I didn't know what humanity was anymore, either. Just the need to kill.

The doors burst open the moment I had my hands around L's throat and before long I was tackled to the ground. From where I was being forced to lay I could see A's lifeless form… and I cried once more. From that moment on I hated L… I hated everything about him. And I made a solemn promise to A that L would pay dearly for what he'd done to my friend.

My one regret… was never telling A how much I loved him.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Still one more chapter! And I intend to leave it with a better chapter than this one!  
><strong>_

_**As always, thank you for the support, you are all awesome followers! And I hope you enjoy this chapter!**_

_**(I'd also would like to know what the next story should be that I write about in this... erm... universe? Whatever. If you guys have any suggestions I'd be happy to hear them!)**_

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><p><strong>(L P.O.V)<strong>

I got to the part where B found A in the barn… and I panicked. Yes, my successors were more than mature enough to handle death…

But suicide?

I hadn't realized I'd been quiet though until Light had startled me with a hand on my shoulder. The expression on his face was pure worry. I suppose he worried for me and what these memories were doing to me.

That's when Mello spoke up.

"A didn't make it… did he…"

I guess the story had to finish.

I shook my head. "No. He couldn't handle all the pressure of being my successor… so he took his life. B became furious about this and tried to kill me as well, blaming me for A's death. He was taken away after he was tackled off of me, and I shut down the successor program… for good."

Matt sat up then. "But, then, what program are _we_ in?"

"Same one, dork!" Mello said irritably. "L didn't actually close it for good!"

"But I had every intention to." I added. "I was going to stop it from ever sacrificing another child's sanity. I wanted Wammy's to go back to when it was just A, B, and myself. But… it could never go back to the way it was."

My head lowered then so I might hide the tears from the boys. I managed to keep my voice as even as I could.

"A was a brilliant child, filled with love and wonder. He saw the goodness in everything, and he never showed an ounce of breaking. It wasn't until it was far too late could I see what was truly going on. And Mello, just so you know, you are not in the same program that A and B were once part of."

"What do you mean?" The blonde asked, crawling out of bed to sit next to me.

I gave a small sigh to myself then looked at the ten year old. "You were… are… much like A, Mello. You are a brilliant child, with a – somewhat – loveable personality. But when A was transferred over to the successor program, he wasn't allowed any freedoms. He couldn't have friends, he couldn't love anyone on an intimate level, and he had classes every single day. Even weekends and holidays. Why? Because he was in training to be the best replacement that we could make.

"Mello, you were not meant to be a replacement." I looked up at the other two boys still in their beds. "None of you were meant to replace me."

Near's small voice came out. "What do you mean by that?"

The blonde beside me understood it almost instantly.

"L's saying we were meant to be his heirs. Not his puppet. When he's gone one of us will inherit his name, but how we choose to live with it is our own. We really aren't in the same program."

"But what about B?" Matt spoke up. "What was his deal? I mean, he was taken away… but what was wrong with him?"

I felt a shiver through my spine at the memory of B saying my name… my _real_ name. There was something wrong with that picture. No way could he have randomly guessed my name, no, not with the way he'd said it. He _knew_ my name. He somehow _knew_ what it was. How he could possibly know was beyond me. I'd given myself that name many, many years ago when I was a child. Wammy gave me the chance to create a name for myself as an alias… and I chose L. L Lawliet. It was definitely something a child could come up with, but I'd had a good reason behind the name.

What that reason was had been forgotten long ago. But if Light ever knew my real name he'd laugh so hard I think he'd have an aneurism.

I hummed at Matt's question. "I can't tell you, Matt. More so because I don't know myself. B wasn't right in the head. Although he never said anything about it, I knew he enjoyed death and being surrounded by it. Something about the way he acted about it was too calm… too normal. Someone in his position, who saw death almost weekly with him working in hospitals and nursing homes, would show at least _some_ remorse if they were normal. But B… was enthralled by it. He would sometimes talk about certain murder cases I'd taken on and go into detail about it all. He'd talk about how they died, why they died, who killed them, how they were killed, all the blood, the guts, and the gore… and he'd laugh about it every… single… time."

I could see Near back away a bit, his pale face becoming paler, and Light picked him up from his bed to hug him close.

Mello groaned a bit in discomfort. "He is not right in the head."

I nodded. "The only time I thought about seeking help for him, however, was when he…" I hesitated to say it, but it had to be out there. "…when he killed baby birds on his tenth birthday."

I heard Matt retch a bit and we all worried for him vomiting. The red head did not have a strong stomach, especially with death. Throw some innocent creature in there that's being tortured, and he was a fountain of vomit.

"What is wrong with him!?" Mello demanded now. "Who does something like that and thinks it's okay?!"

Light decided to answer that, still holding Near. "Mello, some people are born without the ability to feel remorse or even love. I think, in time, B did learn to love A… but before that, I doubt he was very capable of forming any attachments to anything. It sounds like he had Antisocial Personality Disorder. Most people develop feelings and attachments at a very young age, but B…"

I nodded. "B had no love for anyone. Just interest. And when his only friend killed himself… he lost his mind. Was A his friend though? Or was he just leading him on as well?"

Light put down the small child. "Who knows… maybe after losing A he developed feelings."

I shook my head. "No, Light. B only ever was attached to A. I don't know why… I don't know how… but it's the only person he'll ever care for."

"So where is he now?" Mello asked quietly.

"Yeah, and why'd you tell us all this so freely?" Matt piped in.

I stood up from my seat on the floor and picked up Mello, somewhat hugging him close. "Because it's something you three should know. As my successors… as my heirs… you've had the best out of the new program. And I need you to know that if ever you're feeling too stressed… that you can't handle any of this… then I need to know. I couldn't bear to lose another loved one because of my foolishness."

Mello grinned and hugged me back tightly. "We love you too, L."

I suddenly felt two sets of arms around my legs and looked down to see Matt and Near hugging me as well. I had to admit, it was a nice feeling to be loved by my boys.

…

Strange…

I've never referred to them as 'my boys' before. That was usually Light who called them that.

I hummed to myself. _'No… they are my boys. But, better that they not know that until much late in their lives. They think I'm going soft now and I've lost against them and their charms.'_

Light grinned happily at me as I put the boys back to bed, knowing how late it was. Before I exited the room though, Mello spoke up again.

"Wait! You still haven't told us about where B went!"

I sighed heavily. "Because it's on a need to no basis. He's far away now, and you won't ever get to meet him. And, if ever the chance arose, you have to promise me that you won't go anywhere near him. Promise me that, all of you."

The three of them promised and I soon made my exit, wishing them goodnight.

When I closed the door, Light spoke.

"A's anniversary is coming up, isn't it?"

I was sometimes amazed at Light's ability to guess what was coming up. It was rather scary, but helpful all the same.

I nodded. "Tomorrow."

He then embraced me lovingly and I hugged him back. "You loved him, didn't you."

Again, I was amazed. "Yes."

He hugged tighter. "You know if I could, I'd turn back time for you and help you stop him from taking his life… right?"

I shook my head. "Even if you could I'd say no. The past was meant to be for a reason. A was sad, and with the amount of drugs he'd taken, nothing about him was normal anymore. I loved the A that I grew up with… not the one I tutored."

Light nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry, L."

I grinned a bit before giving a kiss to his cheek. "Don't be. Let's just go to bed. I don't think I'm going to get much work done tonight anyways."

"I suggest taking the day off tomorrow." Light requested as we began our walk back to our room. "Take some time off for A."

I smiled a bit at that. "Like he wanted me to."

A and B had held a special place in my heart since the day I'd met them. But, now that they were gone, I had three more children to fill that void in my heart. Near, Matt, and Mello. Three extremely talented children, all with wonderful personalities…

Just like A…

And in truth, I'd never forget A. He was my friend. The first one I'd ever had. He was kind, determined, and hard-headed. I wouldn't forget B either… but for a whole different reason.

B was locked up in LA somewhere. I didn't know exactly where since it was Wammy who sent him there. But he knew where I was. He'd always know where I was.

And I had the slightest feeling that I'd see him again someday…

…

Someday.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Finally I finished this! Man, I just haven't been into writing all that much these past few weeks.  
><strong>_

_**Sorry for making you wait everyone, I hope you aren't mad! If you liked the story, then check out my other fics on my profile! **_

_**As always, thank you all for sticking around, you are all wonderful followers, and I hope you enjoy this last chapter!**_

* * *

><p><strong>(B P.O.V)<strong>

_"If I should die,_

_"And you should live,_

_"And time should gurgle on,_

_"And morn should beam,_

_"And noon should burn,_

_"As it has usual done;_

_"If birds should build as early,_

_"And bees as bustling go,–_

_"One might depart at option_

_"From enterprise below…_

_"'Tis sweet to know that stocks will stand_

_"When we with daisies lie,_

_"That commerce will continue,_

_"And trades as briskly fly._

_"It make the parting tranquil_

_"And keeps the soul serene,_

_"That gentlemen so sprightly_

_"Conduct the pleasing scene…"_

These words I repeated over… and over… and over again in my head. I read it while in my prison from a book of poems that one of the ladies gave me. Well, I wasn't in a literal prison. But I was trapped. My room had no entrance or exit as far as I knew. They darkened the rooms each time someone came in or out. L made sure I was locked away in a mental ward for good and that no harm would come to him. I didn't know how though, but I'd make sure he knew he was wrong about that.

I'd finally hit my breaking point. I no longer loved the sight of death. It was a pathetic end to a life. We die… we are lifeless… we are worth nothing anymore. A was dead now… and he had no right to be. All he ever did was love and care, and look where it ended him! He was a rotting sack of flesh with nothing to show for his life! And L? L was living his life as an icon to the world. Something no one else could be. No one… but me and A.

I don't know how long I remained in my prison. Two years? Three? Maybe more. I couldn't tell anymore. And my pills weren't helping me with the matter. They made my mind warp into something uncouth and vile. I was no longer B anymore. And this was the truth. In fact, I was far from B now because I no longer loved death.

But I wanted to kill.

I wanted to end a life. To watch the numbers above everyone's heads cripple and deplete in a mass before finally hitting all zeroes and taking the sweet nectar of life away from them… slowly… painfully… without mercy.

That's what happened to A… that's what will happen to L. I promise that for sure.

The lights suddenly dimmed in my room and I heard a door open and close. Before long the lights came back on and before me stood the very person I'd wanted to end. The great detective himself.

My arms – being tied behind me thanks to a strait jacket – flung violently from side to side to try and get free so I could strangle to man, but there was no budging. I even jumped out of my chair to try and tackle the man, but I forgot about the cuffs around my ankles and fell to the floor. I grunted and growled at the man before me, but he wasn't fazed one bit. If anything he looked sorry for me.

"What have you become, B?" He asked quietly while leaning to give my head a pat. "Ten years, and you still haven't let go."

Ten years? Had it been so long?

I shook his hand off of me. "I'll never forget what you did to A!"

He sighed heavily. "B, A was sick. And I take full responsibility for not helping him sooner. But… you have to let this go. If you keep hating me it will drive you insane. A wouldn't want this for you…"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT HE WANTED!" I screamed. "HE LOVED YOU! HE LOVED YOU AND YOU THREW HIM ASIDE LIKE A RAG! UNCLEAN… UNWANTED… FILTHY! HE WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, YET HE STILL LOVED YOU! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT HIM AS IF YOU KNEW HIM, WHEN YOU KNEW _NOTHING_!?"

The look in his eyes was pure sadness, but I couldn't see his true feelings past my intense rage for him.

L sighed yet again and set down a bag I didn't notice he was carrying before.

He then looked me in the eye. "I'm so sorry, B. For what it's worth, you and A…"

"SHUT UP!" I demanded. "GO BACK TO YOUR REPLACEMENTS AND LEAVE ME!"

He was silent now, only giving me a quick nod before he turned to the camera to have the lights dimmed again. When they came back on, L was long gone and the bag he set down still remained.

I used my feet a legs to crawl to the bag and open it. Inside was maybe twenty jars of strawberry jam. This treat I had not had in a very long time now. Roger had stopped buying this flavoured jam after he caught me stealing every jar. He switched over to grape after that and I strayed from it. Grape was not my most favourite of jam flavours.

I grinned to myself, but I was not happy about the gesture. More like I was happy to see L fall before me in weakness. I knew full well he still cared for me and A. But now that he had his new successors I was old news. That was fine though... if he wanted to end more children's lives then so be it. That was his loss… his mistake.

I knew he had new successors. I could see it in his eyes when he spoke. Why else would he come to visit me? He looked at them and saw me, so now he wanted to clear the air and feel like he accomplished some kind of inner goal. What a waste of time.

As soon as I was freed from my binds a little while later, I dug in to my treat almost finishing half the bag. I didn't care how unhygienic I was at this moment… I was hungry.

Not just for the jam, either.

I was starving for revenge. For A's revenge. I would not let his death be in vain.

L Lawliet could be read more easily than he believed if you really looked. For instance, in the moment he spoke to me I could hear the hesitation and sadness in his voice. He was scared of me… scared of his kids becoming like me. Which means there's more than one successor.

…

And I aimed to kill them all.

I giggled to myself before flat out laughing in hysterics. This game wasn't over yet…

Not by a long shot.


End file.
